🤦♀️ 30 Obvious Signs Your Roommate Sucks (And You're Not Just Being Dramatic)
Welcome to Bloomsburg University, where your GPA is low, your standards are lower, and your roommate might actually be the worst part of your college experience. Not sure if your situation qualifies? Here are 30 signs you’re not just unlucky — your roommate actually sucks.
1. They eat your food and leave the empty container… in the fridge.
Yes, Greg. We all love one sip of milk and no closure.
2. They “forget” to take out the trash… for 3 months straight.
The fruit flies have unionized and are demanding better conditions.
3. They play Call of Duty with volume on full blast at 3 AM.
You now associate PTSD with Xbox.
4. Their side of the room smells like a middle school gym locker.
Is that a sandwich under the bed… or a science experiment?
5. They never wash their sheets.
Ever. The mattress has seen things.
6. They leave passive-aggressive Post-it notes… about you.
We see you, Sarah. And your glitter pens.
7. They bring their situationship over. Every. Single. Night.
You didn’t sign up for a third roommate named Chad.
8. Their alarm goes off 15 times before they wake up.
And somehow it’s always set to “Country Girl (Shake It For Me).”
9. They leave exactly one square of toilet paper.
You’ve grown stronger from the trauma, though.
10. They do laundry once a semester.
And it involves 7 trash bags and Febreze.
🤷♂️ Wait… There's More
11. They always borrow stuff and never return it.
That hoodie is basically a joint custody situation now.
12. They talk on speakerphone. Every time. In public.
Why do we all have to know about their yeast infection?
13. They’re a loud chewer.
Like… Olympic-level slurping.
14. They microwave fish.
Twice.
15. They bring home “stray” cats.
That’s not a roommate, that’s a wildlife reserve.
💅 The Personality Red Flags
16. They think their astrology sign is an excuse for everything.
“I ghosted your party because Mercury’s in retrograde.” No, Becky. You’re just rude.
17. They constantly say, “I’m just brutally honest.”
Translation: they’re just brutal.
18. They record TikToks in your shared space.
Sorry for walking in on your thirst trap with a bowl of ramen.
19. They believe Axe Body Spray = showering.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
20. They think paper towels count as plates.
No dishes = no dignity.
😩 The Chaos Continues
21. They tried to cook spaghetti… in the coffee pot.
Engineering majors, explain this.
22. They eat in bed. With no plate.
There are breadcrumbs in the sheets and you’ve accepted it.
23. They steal your shampoo.
But only the expensive one.
24. They FaceTime their mom while you’re changing.
Hi, Sharon!
25. They think vacuuming once a year is “minimalist.”
🎓 The Final 5
26. They have an emotional support blender.
And it turns on during your 8 AM Zoom class.
27. They keep raw chicken in their backpack.
Why? Even they don’t know.
28. They’ve never paid for toilet paper.
But somehow always have money for energy drinks.
29. They use your toothbrush “on accident.”
That wasn’t a mistake. That was war.
30. They think this article is about you.
Which means… it probably is.
In Conclusion:
College roommates are like blind dates — some are chill, some are weird, and some should come with a restraining order. If you read this list and checked off more than five... maybe it’s not you. Maybe your roommate just really, truly sucks.
Stay strong, Huskies.
